5 facts about forgiveness, according to the latest psychological research

How often do you forgive? When do you decide whether to forgive someone? How? While being forgiving is, in the long term and in most situations, beneficial to you, premature forgiveness may also have long term costs if the acts of aggression don't stop as a result. It is accepted among psychologists that in certain situations, it is perfectly healthy if one chooses not to forgive. Also, situations that left you feel betrayed or hurt might signal other underlying problems, such as communication breakdown or expectation management problem.

Forgiveness is such a complex topic that many psychologists spend years to study. It is indeed related to personality, relationships and coping. It also has associations with culture and interpersonal politics. Researches around the world have discovered certain interesting facts about forgiveness:

Older individuals are more likely to forgive than younger adults
With age comes wisdom. Mathias Allemand at the University of Zurich found that older individuals are more likely to forgive after an interpersonal conflict.

Religiosity, as measured by faith, service attendance and prayer, is positively correlated with forgiveness. And this is true for Christians, Muslims, and Jews
For some people, this may be a surprising fact, but for the rest of us, it's just a confirmation. Australian researchers Adam Fox and Trang Thomas found that no matter which religion one believes in, there is no difference in the strong link between one's religiosity and his/her tendency to forgive.

When we are grateful, we are more likely to forgive
This finding is once again the proof of the power of gratitude. Felix Neto in Portugal found that gratitude is linked to one's likelihood to forgive.

Holding outrage may be beneficial in certain situations
Judith Anderson, a Jungian psychotherapist, argued that there is nothing inherently wrong if you decided to hold grudges. In situations where you feel that justice needs to be sought, not forgiving may be the more appropriate action.

The exact definition of forgiveness remains an open issue
Some suggested that being forgiving means the absence of negative emotions towards the transgressor. For others, it means being free from negative emotion and showing positive affect towards the transgressor.

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How to choose a good meditation class

It should come as no surprise to you that like everything else, meditation classes come in a huge variety in quality. Here are several things to consider if you are considering a particular meditation class.

Hygiene
This may sound counter intuitive, but the fact is, not all meditation centers maintain good hygiene. Make sure you ask for a tour before you join. There is nothing more distracting than a dirty floor and a stuffy, smelly room. It defeats the purpose of using meditation to achieve relaxation.

Religious affiliation
Most of the meditation classes are either run by non-profit organizations, health clubs, or proper Buddhist groups. In order to ensure you don't unknowingly participate in any cult-like organizations, ask whether the class is affiliated with any religious groups.

Hidden fees
Most meditation classes require a per visit contribution, ranging from $5 to $20. The fees are usually used to cover the rent, insurance and the traveling costs of the teachers.

Maximum number of classes you are allowed to take
If you decide to participate in meditation classes as part of the package, check whether

Online meditation classes
Online meditation classes are perhaps a more convenient option, consider that you can start anytime, anywhere, without a significant difference in quality.

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Forgiving the unforgivable with meditation

Look around you. How many people are truly happy? Not that many, right? One of the reasons why people are not fully enjoying the lives they're living is simple: they are stuck in the past. They are stuck with their past regrets, anger, unresolved issues and hurt. For many of us, instead of starting our day with hope, joy and anticipation, we relive our old, outdated yet equally toxic negative memories.

Believe it or not, anger is actually part of our biological response. It is designed to respond to environmental threats so we can defend ourselves and those around us. Therefore, a moderate dose of anger is perfectly natural and is actually good for us. However, being angry for a prolonged period of time is unhealthy, and if you have regular, uncontrollable anger outbursts, it may be a signal that there are some underlying problems which you should pay attention to.

Meditation is linked to enhanced empathy and compassion, but don't be tempted to force yourself to forgive someone by practicing meditation. You should probably find some ways to cope with the stressful situation, and bring closure to these events, before you decide when to forgive the persons involved. There is nothing more destructive than simply forgiving and not drawing healthier boundaries for the future. In every unpleasant situation there is wisdom to be extracted, lessons to be learned. Before you decide when to forgive somebody, it is always helpful to have a close look at what lessons you can learn from the situation, and how you can do better in the future. After you've learn your lessons and how to draw boundaries, it is now a good time to let go.

In stead of rushing to forgive someone by practicing meditation, you can use this ancient practice to do what it does best - to let you clear your mind. Meditation helps you develop a laser sharp focus so you can correctly define and diagnose the problem that bothers you. It also helps you to come up with coping strategies and solutions that you don't normally see. For example, you may find it hard to forgive your parents who you think mistreated you, when your mind is still and clear, you may be able to see that the problem isn't totally about them, rather it also has to do with your communication skills. When you correctly identified the problem, you are in a much better position to improve the situation.

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5 simple ways to be happier, calmer and have more energy

Have you ever wondered that if you have more money, a better car, a nicer home, you will be happier?

The latest research found that you're right, to an extend. For a hungry individual to move from a deprived environment to one that is clean and safe does make him or her happier. However, once that threshold is met there is little correlation between extra material processions and the level of happiness. The average national income in the US has increased multiple times, however, researches found that the happiness level does not seem to have changed significantly.

There are virtually countless ways to be happy, the key is you have to allow yourself to be happy. if you sense a lot of negative energy around you, consider the following ways to feel better:


1. Enroll in an online meditation class

Yoga and meditation has been scientifically proven to enhance emotional stability, happiness and concentration. While it may take hundreds of dollars to join a gym and hire a meditation teacher, now you can enjoy meditation and its many benefits at home by enrolling in one of the online meditation classes available on the internet. A good meditation program should be able to guide you to a deep state of relaxation and a higher level of happiness.

2. Start a happiness journal

Every night before going to bed, write down 1 or 2 things that made you happy during the day. It could be the surprise email you received from your high school sweetheart before a class reunion, a beautiful meal you prepared for your partner, a great performance appraisal you received, a stunning sunset your saw or simply the lovely smell of the fragrance you bought yourself.

3. Plan a "me" time

Modern living is stressful, and more often than not we juggle multiple roles. It is important that you have an hour or so to yourself everyday which you can stop taking care of others and focus on taking care of your own wellbeing. Have a glass of chardonnay, read an inspirational book, or create a home spa. You will feel happier and calmer if you spend time to take care of yourself.

4. Read

Reading takes us out of our own little drama-filled world to a much larger world where opportunities are endless. Autobiographies are great for people who want to get inspirations from those who overcome unbelievable hardship to achieve success and stability. Read widely, keep an open mind and you will see many new opportunities in life.

5. Eat well

When we maintain a healthy, balanced diet, we are less susceptible to being tired and depressed. This is a strong body and mind connection that we cannot deny. 6. Get rid of clusters Let me tell you the clusters around you actually drain you of your happiness. Why? Clusters or untidy environment is a sign of procrastination, a sign that we put off doing what we should be doing. When your environment is clean, nice and organized, you will feel more motivated and enjoy a higher energy level.

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