5 facts about forgiveness, according to the latest psychological research

How often do you forgive? When do you decide whether to forgive someone? How? While being forgiving is, in the long term and in most situations, beneficial to you, premature forgiveness may also have long term costs if the acts of aggression don't stop as a result. It is accepted among psychologists that in certain situations, it is perfectly healthy if one chooses not to forgive. Also, situations that left you feel betrayed or hurt might signal other underlying problems, such as communication breakdown or expectation management problem.

Forgiveness is such a complex topic that many psychologists spend years to study. It is indeed related to personality, relationships and coping. It also has associations with culture and interpersonal politics. Researches around the world have discovered certain interesting facts about forgiveness:

Older individuals are more likely to forgive than younger adults
With age comes wisdom. Mathias Allemand at the University of Zurich found that older individuals are more likely to forgive after an interpersonal conflict.

Religiosity, as measured by faith, service attendance and prayer, is positively correlated with forgiveness. And this is true for Christians, Muslims, and Jews
For some people, this may be a surprising fact, but for the rest of us, it's just a confirmation. Australian researchers Adam Fox and Trang Thomas found that no matter which religion one believes in, there is no difference in the strong link between one's religiosity and his/her tendency to forgive.

When we are grateful, we are more likely to forgive
This finding is once again the proof of the power of gratitude. Felix Neto in Portugal found that gratitude is linked to one's likelihood to forgive.

Holding outrage may be beneficial in certain situations
Judith Anderson, a Jungian psychotherapist, argued that there is nothing inherently wrong if you decided to hold grudges. In situations where you feel that justice needs to be sought, not forgiving may be the more appropriate action.

The exact definition of forgiveness remains an open issue
Some suggested that being forgiving means the absence of negative emotions towards the transgressor. For others, it means being free from negative emotion and showing positive affect towards the transgressor.